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| Safe to say they're at a Wright Brother's exhibition:) |
I wanted to share some thoughts.
Tim's family has traditions. There are a lot of relatives who have children. Those children have children and most stay in touch no matter where one of the relative lives. From Alaska to Michigan to other parts of the United States, his family keeps in touch. I am an outsider that has been welcomed with open arms. I'm glad they have so many arms because this outsider is a full package complete with four children.
I'm not made to feel like I'm not one of them. I am not really an outsider. From the first time I met Tim's mom and her husband, Bob, my children and I were made to feel as if we'd been part of this great, fun-loving family all along. Tim's mother, Sue, has a large number of brothers and sisters. They had kids and its these cousins who've entered several walks of life. The people of this family are diverse, bright, fun and very, very interesting. I can truly say that if I met any of them on the street or in a restaurant, a conversation would come up that would make the meeting memorable.
Their family traditions, full of get-togethers and story telling, go on year after year. My children have met children younger and older. They have now become part of some of the past events and are looking forward to the next, planned events--the traditions that they haven't just heard about now, but that they've become part of. The older boys were allowed to attend the "No Skirts" ice fishing trip last January. It was an honor for young men to bond as men. They were able to stare at an ice hole, a circle cut with a machine that only men are traditionally allowed to use. My eight and ten year old young men were given the opportunity to hear of fishing trips of the past. They felt special to be part of a bigger picture, part of Tim's family history. They had become part of a tradition.
Last night there was a one hour special on gangs. I could not stop thinking of what it was these young and old people felt they were getting by allowing themselves to beat people to death; to be "beaten in" and finally feel as if they "belonged." All the rules, by-laws, codes called "norms" and things that young boys, girls, teens and adults die for daily in the name of a brotherhood they feel they've found in these gangs. It's the respect that they suddenly feel that hadn't come to them in their life before. Respect, graves, permanent injuries, court rooms, jail cells, prison terms and broken parents' hearts--gangs, routine, rules--their family.
I'd rather take what we're being inducted with from Tim's family. We're getting a sense of being part of something with lore, stories of past rules broken, traditions kept and what part a particular ancestor played. That's what I'm happy to be part of and so blessed that my children are now part of too. We're part of the Snyder gang and things are good.
Andrea Pfeifer (Hackett)
